Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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