i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
