People with herpes should wear stickers.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
