I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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