So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
