Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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