Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
