Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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