Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
