the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
