The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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