Dual....:-)
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
God, I missed his penis.
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