No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
