do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
