I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
