help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
