she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
