I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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