like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
