Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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