thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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