If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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