Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
