Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
