I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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