I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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