Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
