If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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