I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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