i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
