I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
