so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think your dad took our porno
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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