So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
