can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
