dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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