so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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