And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
