laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
