He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
