There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
