So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
