when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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