it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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