listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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