he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
