i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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