bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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