You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
