If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
