Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
