I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
