the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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